In a world of seemingly endless marketing fads, Mother’s Day opt out emails really puzzle me…
Over the past few years I’ve noticed a huge increase in seasonal opt out emails from various companies I subscribe to.
“We understand that Mother’s Day can be a sensitive time, so we’re offering an opt out of our Mother’s Day communications.“
Mother’s Day opt out emails are a thoughtful sentiment, no doubt. For many people, seasonal celebrations like Mother’s Day can be tough. I personally have a very difficult relationship with my mother and haven’t been in contact with her for a few years. Of course, this causes a great deal of pain, guilt and anguish.
But, I still feel like a regular member of society – I work, I socialise, I parent my own child to the best of my ability. Sometimes I’ll feel a momentary pang of sadness when I see families out together, enjoying what appears to be drama-free fun. It must be nice, I think wistfully. And then I carry on with my day.
The odd one out
What I don’t enjoy is feeling like a weird outsider because of my complicated family dynamics. And the problem with Mother’s Day opt out emails is that they draw my attention to the fact that my family dynamics are somewhat irregular.
Like trying not to think about a pink elephant, I find these emails actually make me think about the situation more than I’d like. Not because I’d usually bury my head in the sand about it, but because it reminds me that I’m an outsider and the company’s marketing is therefore not designed for people like me – but only for those who have a normal relationship with their mums.
The same applies to those whose mums have passed away. I understand receiving Mother’s Day emails may be tricky if the loss is recent and emotions are still raw. But once again, I feel it can be isolating for those who have lost their mum to feel that Mother’s Day no longer applies to them. Everyone has had a mother at some point in their life – for whatever length of time and in whatever context. And to try to erase them with a simple opt out feels a little cold. Instead, I’d love to see Mother’s Day emails celebrating the very essence of having or being a mum – whatever that might look like to each individual.
So, when I receive these emails asking if I’d like to opt out of Mother’s Day communications, I find myself feeling kind of iffy. Without opting out, I’m only likely to receive one email on the big day anyway, telling me to “say it with flowers” or “make mum feel extra special“.
Mum’s the word
As a mum myself, these emails are still relevant – they remind me of how hugely blessed I am to have a wonderful daughter. My relationship with my daughter couldn’t be further removed from the strained ties I have to my own mother. In fact, it’s because of my struggles with my own mum that I try to do better for my daughter. I still love my mum – she exists in my mind and I don’t want to remove any mention of her. So receiving Mother’s Day emails is a reminder that I am a daughter, I have a mother – and whatever issues we face, there has been love between us at some point.
I appreciate everyone is different and we’re all fighting our own internal battles. For some people, opting out of these painful reminders might be helpful. But to me, this small action feels frivolous and inauthentic.
I don’t want to opt out of Mother’s Day emails, in the same way I wouldn’t opt out of receiving Christmas related emails, even though I’m an athiest.
It feels to me that this has become more of a marketing fad than a genuine attempt to protect people from pain. And, with all due respect, I don’t care enough about Crosstown Doughnuts/Moonpig cards/Mailchimp emails to care if they want me to spoil mum this Mother’s Day. In the same way I don’t book a taxi every week just because Uber emails me with a new discount…
Marketing opt out emails
As a marketer myself, I’d like to think that the communications I send out on behalf of clients do have an impact on their audience. We like to think our work is important and influential. But the true intention of marketing emails, really, is to encourage people to buy something – now or sometime in the future.
And I can’t help feeling that the real message behind those seemingly thoughtful Mother’s Day opt out emails is to say, “Hey, look at us, we’re so nice and thoughtful that you should definitely buy stuff from us, rather than those thoughtless companies who don’t ask if you want to opt out of Mother’s Day emails.”
So, thanks for the kind offer, but I won’t bother opting out of Mother’s Day emails, or Christmas related emails, or any other emails that are designed for certain people with a set of beliefs or dynamics I don’t share. But I might opt out of emails from companies who make me feel like a weird outsider for being different.
…and from those emails asking if I want to earn $100,000 a month from home, with no work required. I think they might just be a scam…
About the author
After working in digital marketing and product management for over 16 years, for brands like Auto Trader, Time Out and EDF Energy, I founded my own digital consultancy.
I offer strategic Marketing Services, SEO Consultancy and Copywriting to a range of clients across various industries.
Get in touch if you’re keen to grow your business!
